Map of Singapore
Singapore circa 1960
Wooden houses with attap roof
Friday 31 August 2012
The sisterhood – Mah Jie (妈姐)
The house was small with an open kitchen in the back, a
communal toilet and a room with 4 wooden slats make-do beds, each one with a
straw mat on top. Yin Jie was very kind and chatted to Mei for a while before
she started getting dinner ready. There were four ladies sharing the communal
house; Yin Jie, Jen Jie, Wu Jie and Fang Jie.
These ladies are the Mah Jie; a voluntary sisterhood of
ladies from China who vow celibacy and work as domestic help in Singapore. They
all wear a uniform of a white blouse buttoned to the neck, with black trousers.
They do not trust in marriages hence initiated a ceremony to vow their celibacy
by brushing and tying up their hair (自梳).
Many of them heard about the misfortune of some married life; being bullied by
their husbands, having to look after their husband’s families and abandoning
their own.
Pearl of the Orient
Singapore circa 1960
The loud steam whistle abruptly woke Anna up from her sleep.
Everyone was getting their suitcases as the train pulled into Tanjung Pagar
train station in Singapore. Mei held on to Anna’s hand tightly as they made
their way into the station. It was a very hot and humid afternoon. Mei had a
piece of paper handwritten with her friend’s address in Hougang. When they last
wrote to each other Mei had informed her friend, Jen that she would be heading
to Singapore. Now that she was actually there, in that noisy train station,
feeling lost, she was not so sure of her decision anymore.
Just outside the station was an old man selling freshly made
buns; Mei looked at Anna who was practically salivating at the sight and smell
of those delicious treats. They had not had anything to eat for the last 18
hours. Mei dug into her purse, producing some coins to buy a hot steamed bun
for Anna. Anna knew they hadn’t much money left, hence why her mama had only
bought one bun. She divided it and gave her mama half. Tears welled up in Mei’s
eyes. They hugged briefly then quickly ate their small meal.
After asking for directions, they walked all the way to
Hougang. Singapore was nothing like it is now but even in those days it was a
big city, bigger than anything Anna had experienced and it must have taken them
around 3 hours, including detours and getting lost. Anna’s eyes opened wide at
how busy it was, it was sometimes difficult to walk as bicycles and rickshaws
whizzed past mixed in with noisy motor cars. At long last, they found the
place; an old wooden house with an attap roof (made of attap palm leaves). They
knocked on the old wooden door. A lady in her forties answered. Mei asked for
Jen Jie (sister Jen). Jen was not back yet but Anna and Mei were invited into
the house. The lady was Yin Jie (sister Yin), she settled them down and offered
them water while they waited for Jen.
The move
The death of her papa changed almost everything. Her mama
had always relied on her papa especially financially. His sudden death led to the
loss of their property, a small but adequate house.
Anna was very upset but she knew she had to put a brave
front on. She found her mama quietly weeping away when she thought Anna was
asleep. The loss was devastating to them both. Fearing that they would hurt
each other by talking, they decided to quietly deal with their loss and sorrow;
each in their own way.
Her mama, Mei was from Hong Kong. It was love at first
sight. Her papa was performing when their eyes met and locked for a lifetime.
He was the son of a middle class family in Hong Kong, destined to take over the
family’s business. However her papa rebelled against his family and went on to
perform martial arts, left Hong Kong and married Mei. She ran away from home
when she met Lee and fell madly in love. She was only 17 at the time. She had
never worked and didn’t have much education. Now, she felt completely lost
after 30 odd years of marriage and being dependent on one man.
Her mama loved her papa dearly. She vowed that she would
never re-marry and would try her best to bring Anna up on her own. Staying on
was too painful. So she took the decision to leave and move to Singapore. She
had a friend from Hong Kong, now in Singapore working as a housekeeper who
could possibly find her some work.
They didn’t have many possessions, just a few bags and Lee’s
ashes. Anna took her favourite and only photograph taken with her papa and
packed her bags with a heavy heart. The two lonely souls made their way to the
old Butterworth station and took the night train to Singapore. Nothing was said
but they held each other’s hand tightly as the train pulled out of the Penang
station to the mournful sound of the steam whistle. Tears rolled down Anna’s
cheeks as she looked back at the lights of the town and whispered goodbye to
her papa. She knew she would never return.
Thursday 30 August 2012
Papa
Anna and her papa were very close. He was a martial artist.
From the time she could walk, Anna had started her training in martial arts. It
was also a way for her papa to protect her, to toughen her up for the world, to
ensure that Anna would always be able to protect herself should anything
happen. It was almost like he could predict the future.
Anna’s most treasured photo was that of her and her papa;
taken when she was barely 3 years old, balancing on his palm with a beaming
smile and her beautiful locks of curly black hair.
Although tough, she loved her training with her papa, it was
how they connected. Anna was well loved and living happily with the Lee’s. She
didn’t know she was adopted. It all felt very natural.
As fate would have it, happiness didn’t last long. Her papa
was performing when he suddenly collapsed. He had a stroke; a brain infarct so
severe that he died almost instantly. Anna was only 7 years old.
Adopted
Life was never fair and never will be. She was adopted and
that much we know is true. The story thereafter is full of twists and webs of
lies, so tangled that no one would ever know the entire truth. This is our
version.
Penang, Malaysia circa 1950
Her mother was only sixteen at the time, far too young to
have a child or to sustain a family. She knew she would regret it one day but
the little baby girl, Anna needed a real home and parents who would love her
and treat her as their own. She didn’t have much of a choice. Neither did the father, her high school sweetheart. Her own parents, a rich influential middle class Indian family in Malaysia would not want anything to do with the little child for fear of tarnishing their family image.
She kissed Anna for the
very last time as tears rolled down her cheeks. The chinese couple in their late
forties who had struggled for years to have a child were so pleased to see
little Anna. They promised to love her like their own and give her a good life.
Mon maman intro
This is a story I need to tell. It's been on my chest for 33
years and perhaps it is now time to let it out. I don’t really know the entire
truth but I will tell you what I know and what may have taken place.
Anna is my mother. She gave birth to me and brought me into
this world. Without her, I would not be where I am today. I am eternally
grateful to her for the strict upbringing and the push she gave me to strive
for academic excellence. Thank you mum for everything you have given me! You
will always be my mother and I will always love you.
What I have done now may seem unfilial but you have left me
no choice. For my sanity and for the sake of my baby and my family, I have
decided that we should keep our distances for now. I am still grateful for
everything you have done for me and you will always be my mother. I just need
to clear my head now. I still cannot understand why you did what you did and I
am still trying to. Perhaps if I retrace our steps and perhaps your steps too,
we may be able to find the root cause of all the pain you have endured and
perhaps I will then understand why you did what you did. I still love you and
because of that I want to understand you … mon maman.
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